Oh millennials and their Instagram...

The Franifesto Writing Collection

You don't need a MAN to make a festo

May 22, 2017

Source: AP Images

I had the amazing opportunity to speak with Chhavi Verg, the current Miss New Jersey USA, and recent first runner-up in the 2017 Miss USA pageant. This article actually consists of two segments. The first half examines media ownership and its relation to both the Miss USA pageant as well as the infamous feminist question that got everyone and their pets all jazzed up this pageant. The latter half examines Chha...

March 8, 2017

Attention all animals!

Due to the indecency imposed by the exposition of private parts, there has been a national ban on breastfeeding animals in public. You heard it. All dogs, rats, squirrels, rabbits, opposums and all mammalian animals are restricted from breastfeeding in public spaces.

Walking through a park and you find your newly born squirrel needs a pick-me-up, looks like your young will need to snag some Five Hour Energ...

February 6, 2017

Dear Grover Cleveland,

My name is Friedrich Trump and I am a seven years old Syrian boy from Aleppo.

I lived in Syria my whole life before I left from besieged East Aleppo on December last year. I am part of the Syrian children who suffered from the Syrian war.

But right now, I am having a peace in my new home of Turkey. In Aleppo, I was in school but soon it was destroyed because of the bombing.

Some of my friends died.

I am very...

January 4, 2017

X: “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean”

The Loud House is a Nickelodeon animated television series. One of the hallmarks of the series is it is the first ever portrayal of a same-sex couple in a Nick show. Harold and Howard McBride have received praise for representing a same-sex couple in a casual way.

There is no bold print screaming: THEY ARE GAY!!

There are no asterisks denoting *depiction of same-sex couple.

Bre...

January 3, 2017

X: “I hate guys.”

Y: “Me too.”

X: “Guys are the worst.”

Well, I hate blankets. Blankets cover stuff. Blankets hide space. 

Blanket statements hide issues. We unroll blankets statements and drape them over complex, deep and systemic issues regarding gender, sexism, miso....blah blah blah.

Okay, okay guys suck! But is it “guys” or is it the the institutions which breed these “guys”. Because let’s face it, although not all guys are te...

December 10, 2016

X: “Francesca where do you go to school?”

Y: “Rutgers University in New, Brunswick.”

X: “Isn’t that the hood?”

_____________________________________________

X: “Oh you live past Ray Street?”

Y: “Yeah.”

X: “I’ve heard there a lot of robberies there.”

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X: “You’re over in East Village, yeah?”

Y: “Mhmm.”

X: “That’s such a nice area.”

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X: “You’re over in W...

November 14, 2016

The LG WM3770HWA is a front-loading washing machine. With CEE Tier 2 power it is the most efficient model on the market. The built in water heater washes your clothes at the hottest of hot temperatures. What is better? It has a TurboWash feature which cuts regular wash times of 85 minutes down to 40. 

With a capacity of 4.5 cubic feet, it is large enough to gobble up roughly 25 pounds of laundry or a small child. In terms of co...

September 24, 2016

X: “Mitch and Irene are about to buy their dream lottery home,” says HGTV voice. 

What is the difference between a dream lottery home and a dream home?

Aren’t our dreams grounded in fantasy anyway? Aren’t our dreams outlandish to begin with? Aren’t our dreams void of consideration of money thus disabling any actual amount of money to amplify them more?

Or is the Emerald City a dream tainted by green currency. Money has the power...

August 16, 2016

*Work in the general store and maybe one day you will be able to move to New York.*

*Start in your local radio and maybe you will be on NBC.*

*Take a job at the tailor and maybe you can work for Givenchy.*

*Start writing locally and maybe you can work for a PR firm.* 

What do you get? The old desires. The equation used to go a little like this: Start small, get bored enough to dream of a life of complexity in a highly dense metrop...

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